Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He shit in the fireplace
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
