dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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