Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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