So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
