It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
