i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize