Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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