When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
