thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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