I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
