Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
