He kissed a someone with a penis
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
