Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
