Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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