this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
