I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
