I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
