Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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