So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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