So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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