I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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