I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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