I puked a lego.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
