Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
