haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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