CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
