toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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