A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
