I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
