yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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