One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
