Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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