What did we do last night that was yellow?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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