just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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