Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
