just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
