I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
