You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
