Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
