Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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