Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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