My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
