And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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