Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Four minutes until I can fart!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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