I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
