She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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