this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
