this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
