I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
