watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
