Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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