How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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