Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize