His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Less talking, more tequila
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
