All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
