just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
