Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
