the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
