My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
