Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
