doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize