Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
