Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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