This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
